I get it.
Lesbians are a minority, especially in the streets of Northeast Ohio. There is a camaraderie that exists between the lesbian community few can understand. We give “solid” handshakes, are best friends with our ex’s exes, and love too hard, too fast.
I’ve spent years on my journey down that rainbow-bricked road, and while I’m not an expert at lesbian life, I think I’ve solved many mysteries about gay women.
The one thing I cannot understand about lesbians, especially in this area, is their unspoken dress code.
When I get dressed, I have one simple rule: I wear whatever I want.
If I want to wear pajamas because it’s night time, I wear pajamas. If I just bought a new dress and it’s warm, I will wear my new dress. If I haven’t showered and want to hide myself from the world, I wear a Snuggie. (Okay, that was a slight exaggeration).
When I started hitting the gay club scene, my first priority was to look presentable. I thought if I looked nice, that was all that mattered.
Boy, or “girl,” was I wrong.
There is an unspoken code in the lesbian community in this area. Girls must identify themselves as “really, truly” gay by wearing the following:
1. A hat. (If it’s not backwards, and to the side, forget about it).
2. Baggy, mostly men’s, clothes. (Preferably from Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, or American Eagle).
3. A cut-off shirt (Weather permitting of course. You must also wear a matching sports bra under the cut-off shirt. It gives you edge).
4. Khaki, cargo shorts.
5. A bandanna. (Neatly tuck it under a backwards and sideways hat for added effect).
6. Optional accessory– A posse of at least four to five girls dressed exactly the same, who you have probably dated at one time, but are now your best friends.
Instead of having a burning ceremony for all of my stilettos, I will continue to dress how I please, when I please. When I came out of the closet, I didn’t magically lose all of my clothes in that closet.
I don’t judge girls who choose to dress a certain way, not even those who might sneer at this blog.
So ladies, if you see me out a club in a brand new dress, please don’t judge me.