Xola Skosana, a South African pastor, preaches that 7.6 lb. baby Jesus, with his cute little eyes of indiscriminate color, his hair of questionable thickness, and his nose of a varying size grew up and contracted the HI virus (a.k.a. HIV).
This does portray Christianity’s lord and savior…’s son as a “promiscuous boy”, but he lived about 30 years before he met John the Baptist, and I’ve seen enough *cough* porn jokes to know what happens in your average carpenter’s day.
Barring the fact that the government didn’t invent the HI virus until 1981 (the conspiracies are true!), who would argue that Jesus could get a virus that didn’t exist yet?
Turns out there’s actually a few people who would argue, but Pastor Skosana has an answer to those naysayers: “Of course, there’s no scientific evidence that Jesus had the HI virus in his bloodstream,” the pastor said according to the BBC. “The best gift we can give to people who are HIV-positive is to help de-stigmatise Aids and create an environment where they know God is not against them, he’s not ashamed of them.”
That’s a very altruistic reason to give Jesus AIDs, and he even admits that his statement has no basis in science, which puts it on the same level as just about every other theocratic claim.
Until Jesus’ next VD, I’ll be trolling the interweb so you don’t have to :-).