The Only Straight I Am is Straight-Up Bitch

Gleeks center around the theme of "Born This Way."

90 minutes of one of the most fantabulous Glee episodes of the season. Where to begin….

Theme. Glee this week is all about accepting who you are, both the good and the bad, because you were “born this way” and there is nothing more beautiful than that. Actually, Glee centers on this idea all the time–and I love it.

What I Loved.

Kurt's back, out and proud! Screenshot: Kelli Fitzpatrick

  • KURTKURTKURT. Initially, I had mixed feelings about Kurt’s return to WMHS. Don’t get me wrong–Kurt continues to be a favorite character of mine, but I really loved him at Dalton Academy, surrounded by uniform-clad hotties and belting a Capella numbers. I felt that he had found where he belonged, and I enjoyed the alternating settings of the two schools. But, after all, if Kurt’s return to William McKinley means more of those fabulous outfits (a necktie made of little keys, tall white combat boots) and heart-melting, hair-raising solos (“As If We Never Said Goodbye”), then I am all for Kurt’s rejoining the New Directions. (I’m also digging his bouffant hairstyle–very Elvis-meets-Bruno Mars.) And I’m relieved Blaine+Kurt will prevail: Check out the sweet serenade as Blaine says goodbye for now.
  • Rachel learns a lesson in loving thyself. She plays with the idea of getting a nose job after breaking it during rehearsal. Quinn’s nose, to be exact. She’s set on getting the surgery: “It’s like a rite of passage for Jewish girls,” her doctor says. That’s until her fellow gleeks show her the light: like Barbara Streisand, she’s beautiful with her nose and all! So she cancels her surgery and accepts her shnoz. (Even though I never really noticed Rachel’s nose until this episode.)
  • Sensational song selection. Beside’s Kurt’s aforementioned solo, Rachel and Quinn’s “Unpretty/I Feel Pretty” mashup was soft but powerful; Finn’s “I Gotta Be Me” with accompanying dancing was fun; and, of course…
  • …The best episode-closing song yet: “Born This Way.” The gleeks don white t-shirts inscribed with the traits they wish they could change in themselves–but have come to accept. The funniest? Brittany’s “I’m With STOOPID” with an upward-facing arrow (expected); and Puck’s “I’m With Stupid” with a downward-facing arrow (unexpected!). The only way to top this Gaga number is to give a cameo to the quirky queen herself!

    Santana and Dave take on bullying with matching fedoras. Screenshot: Kelli Fitzpatrick
  • Prom queen showdown: It’s Quinn versus Santana versus Lauren. Underhanded tactics ensue as Lauren distributes pictures of the old Quinn: chubby, zitty, big-nosed and named Lucy. Santana plays it straight and pretends to date closeted bully Dave as the pair create the “Bully Whips” club. And Quinn just… is just Quinn. Who will win? I’m still rooting for Team Zizes…because she rocks, and Puck is her King-to-be.

What I Didn’t Love.

  • What’s with the stage-five clingers? Every other scene, either Brittany or Quinn are clinging to their respective boyfriends, or have their heads on their shoulders, or are practically draped across them… First of all, you’re in school, dial down the PDA and let each other breathe. Secondly, that makes these confident ladies look weak and dependent. Boo!

Top Character Quotes.

  • “Like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her.” – Santana, about Rachel
  • “I prefer ‘neat freak’ or ‘cleaning bug.'” – Emma
  • “I’m a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch. Which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar.” – Santana
  • “I wanna talk to you–hot Jew to hot Jew.” – Puck
  • “Legend has it when I came out of my  mother I told the nurse she was fat.” – Santana

Next Episode. (You’ll have to enjoy this one without my review: my summer break is a few days away.) Sue starts up the school newspaper again and prints blind gossip items. Let me guess…something about Schuester’s hair? And Kristen Chenoweth returns! Watch the preview here.

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