Twenty-Three Cents

Illustration by Greg Porter

Hello all you fabulous Fusion readers! You don’t know me, but if you keep reading this blog, you’ll get to know me in a jiffy. I’m a sophomore right now at this lovely bureaucracy. I like the the color yellow. I enjoy any meal that includes potatoes. Oh yeah, and I love gay men.

I love talking to them, dancing with them, cooking with them, and letting them wear my shoes. Whether a homosexual just slunk up to me in the club or has known me for years, we’re bff.

Beyond that, I strongly believe that a man should be able to be in holy matrimony with another man if he wants. Two women should be able to do the same. Hell, marry both for all I care. Who am I, actually who is anyone, to tell American citizens that they can’t marry any Dick or Jane they please? I’ve been with boys, and I’ve been with girls. I’m very comfortable with my sexuality – or lack thereof. If I fall in love with a woman someday and can’t tie the knot because we both have vaginas, someone is going to have some explaining to do.

It’s the 21st century and our society is evolving when it comes to human rights. We, as a society, finally moved on from judging a man based on the color of his skin (at least legally) in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. We finally allowed women to vote (but they still only make 77 cents on the dollar that a man makes). And we finally allowed two homosexuals to walk down the aisle together. Oh wait, no we didn’t; not across the board, anyway. Gay marriage has been passed in six states. On the other hand, twelve states have laws in place that ban the recognition of same-sex marriages, and twenty-nine states have constitutional amendments defining marriage as being between a man and a woman, of which Ohio is included.

King James Version

The Bible says that’s wrong. Well fellas (Congress), the Bible says a lot of things are wrong, but I don’t see you outlawing quarter pounders anytime soon (gluttony). And I’ve got more news for you: Not everyone believes what that big book says. I like to believe in a little document called the Constitution, which states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Separation of church and state is America’s first commandment for a reason. Our country was founded on the belief that we have the freedom to believe what we want – whether it be God or the Flying Spaghetti Monster.This also means freedom from congressmen shoving the convictions of their religion down the collective throats of society.

You must think this sounds pretty hypocritical coming from a girl who uses a derogatory term for homosexuals in her title. I certainly do not condone freely using the word fag, especially in a negative tone, it was just a clever name. Calling a bro “fag” for getting emotional or messing up only perpetuates hate. Spray painting the word “fag” on a homosexual’s things is nothing short of a hate crime. It’s all in the tone, which doesn’t translate well over text. But I think I praised the likes of the gay community and gay marriage to prove that I don’t mean this term negatively. But what do I know? I’m just a lonely bitch who surrounds herself with fags because she can’t get a “real man.” Whatever, at least I’ll die rich, happy, and fashionable in the company of my men.

More from Kirsten Sprague
Hooking up
Sex. That mystical physical activity that can burn more than 85 calories...
Read More
0 replies on “Twenty-Three Cents”