Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you my greatest pet peeve of all time. Drum roll please…young girls who think they look totally hot but in reality look like total idiots. The things fifteen year old girls wear and think they look hot in has always been a bizarre mystery to me, and I can proudly say that I avoided the majority of the weird trends in my high school years, but I know that every single one of you make fun of these girls inside your head and laugh about it with your friends just as much as I do. And as bizarre as these trends are…I would never actually want girls to stop doing this, because it gives me so much comic relief.
First off, it amazes me how many young girls, in their feeble attempts to dress as slutty as possible, completely ignore the outdoor temperature before getting dressed in the morning. I understand that wherever you’re going that it is surely heated, but wearing the same clothes you would typically wear in the summer is not okay in the winter. Prime example, wearing the shortest, tightest dress you own, and then putting on a pair of Ugg boots. Ok, I’m not sure who you’re trying to fool, but wearing Ugg boots is not tricking anyone into thinking you’re actually warm. We all know you froze your ass off while getting off the bus this morning to go into your nice temperature controlled high school. The same thing goes for the girls who walk around the mall in tank tops in the middle of winter. Like I understand that the two second walk from your mom’s car to the front door of the mall probably didn’t seem all that bad to you in the middle of a blizzard, but it doesn’t make you look any less ridiculous. Now I understand what they’re thinking when they make these bizarre fashion statements, they want someone cute to come along, tell them they they’re pretty, add them on Facebook, start dating and live happily ever after. But strangely enough that never seems to happen for these young girls…because anyone who were to actually hit on a twelve year old wearing summer clothing when it’s blizzarding outside is a certified creeper. None the less, it never fails that they will always make weather defying choices in their tragic attempts to look hot during all of the seasons…even if it means being at risk for frostbite.
Another weird teenage female trend that has always freaked me out, is the need to look like a walking clone of every other girl in their grade. There is nothing more awkward then walking into high school the first day of senior year and realizing that every single underclassman decided to wear the same floral print skirt and matching t-shirt with a pair of flip-flops for their first day of high school. Like really guys? Unless you’re in Catholic school there is no reason for you to be dressed exactly like everyone else. If anything you should be embarrassed by your lack of individuality.
Last but not least, the dreaded Facebook mirror picture. The staple of every young girl who doesn’t have enough self-confidence to win people over with her personality. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, no one cares about your iphone. No one cares that you recently discovered push-up bras. No one cares that you put on half a ton of make-up just to take that picture. And no one cares about how many people like it because you have half of your fake pushed up cleavage hanging out of your shirt. Because at the end of the day, 100 likes on your profile picture is not going to help you find your prince charming and live happily ever after.