I think one thing we can all agree on is the importance of one’s hair style (unless you’re bald, then you probably don’t agree). Your hair is practically part of who you are, and often reflects a great deal of your personality by the way you wear it, the way you have it styled and even what color it is. But regardless of how important it is, it also happens to be the one thing people never fail to make really dumb comments on. Now, being the super nice and awesome person that I am, I have never replied back with a snarky comment that made them realize how dumb their question actually was. But if I was that kind of a person, these are the kind of things I’d be really tempted to say.
Scenario 1: Your Principal or some other authority figure has called you down to the office because you are violating the dress code by having unnatural colors in your hair. You…
- Explain that it’s part of your religion, and that to force you to take it out would be a violation of the first amendment.
- Draw an extremely detailed family tree, and show that your mermaid heritage is where you get the hair color from, and that you truly can’t help it.
- Tell them that you were exposed to radiation as a young child, which changed the DNA in your hair.
- Start crying and say that it was supposed to be brown but something went horribly wrong and now it won’t come out.
Scenario 2: A boy looks at you and asks if you’re a natural blonde, when clearly you haven’t had your roots done in a good 3 months because your hair stylist is booked solid. You say…
- Yeah, I just dye my roots brown every few months for fun.
- Um, like DUH!
- Stare at him with a dumb expression on your face and say “Haha whaaat?”
Scenario 3: Three days after you get a noticeable amount of hair cut off, a ditzy co-worker runs up to you and says “OMGG DID YOU LIKEEE CUT YOUR HAIR?!?!” You say…
- No, the last three inches of my hair saw you coming and just fell off.
- Nope, I spent a couple hundred bucks on a wig that looks exactly like my hair and is the same color, but only a few inches shorter.
- Actually, instead of growing, my hair shrinks. I know, crazy concept right?!
Now, I would never say any of these things in real life. But if you are an offender of asking stupid hair related questions, I sincerely hope you think twice before doing it again. If you get asked stupid questions like this often, then I do encourage you to try these methods and let me know how it works out.
