POEM: When I Daydream About Quitting My Job

when I daydream about quitting my job
at the “research firm”–the right-wing slander factory via telephone–
I imagine myself in a T-shirt: Pink and Blue
the words, “guess what? I’m .”
stamped across my chest
in a font so white it could buy a seat in Congress.

recent studies show: a majority of Minnesota voters
can be manipulated into supporting
against young girls
if the girls were forced to follow gender expectations
they cannot meet.

I’d like to piss on every politician who wants to scrape his re-election
by provoking panic against trans folks
as if they’re not already murdering us
the old-fashioned way, or suicide, or untreated bladder infection

when I daydream about quitting my job
I lose sight of my humility
it’s just a job, I know this
I’m just a guy, with a rumbly voice and hair in the expected places
I’m just a guy, and my vagina rarely comes up in conversation
but when I daydream about quitting my job
I remember: if you know about the gender expectations they forced on me,
I speak for a population
it’s hard not to feel somewhat important
when I daydream about quitting my job
I pump my fist in celebration of breaking anonymity and assimilation
“I’m queer, I’m done peddling your fear, and I’m out of here!”

they have bills to pass
and I have bills to pay.

so when I daydream about quitting my job
I figure I’ll put in a two-weeks notice
wear a button down like I always do
and pray the next place lets me piss there, too.

This poem was originally published by Thank You For Swallowing, a feminist poetry site which urges poets to “submit to us if you are done submitting to patriarchy.” “When I Daydream About Quitting My Job” was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2015. You can find more of Fusion’s poetry here

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