You can call me the gay Dr. Oz

As I sit here, there is an open bag of Fritos to my right and a can of Rockstar to my left. If I were to eat the whole bag of corn chips, I will have consumed more than a quarter of my recommended daily , 800 mg of , and 40 grams of . The energy drink has 10 calories, but 2.5 grams of “Energy Blend,” which could probably stop my dog’s heart.

No big deal, right?

It would have been easy to pick up an apple, a handful of mixed nuts, and a bottle of water (in fact, I have all of those things in my dorm room), but I didn’t. I chose the fried corn and chemicals. And I bet a lot of you would do the same damn thing if given the choice.

I need more of these. Do you? Picture from

Last year, my freshman year, I consciously made healthy decisions and lost eleven pounds. This year? Yeah, not so much.

I haven’t gone to the once (which is, according to Google Maps, a ten minute walk from my dorm room).

I bought a new pair of Nike’s before I moved back to Kent for the year, and I went running … on one occasion. One.

I imagine you’re sitting in class, in your room, at the library– you’re somewhere staring at your computer screen realizing that the situation I just described isn’t far from your own.

You’ve probably wanted to go to the gym, but decided that your test in a week in a half (that, let’s be honest, you had no intention of studying for) was an impending doom getting in the way of your . You’ve probably made a mix for your iPod and laced up your running shoes, but received a text inviting you to Starbucks shortly thereafter and ended up with a latte in hand.

Am I right, or am I right?

Both of those situations are true for me, at least.

But why do we make these decisions? We all want to be healthy, to be fit, to be sexy; but we make the unhealthy, unfit, and just plain ugly choices. And you know that, as American Dad puts it, “straight slim is gay fat.” The gay world couldn’t be crueler to boys who don’t look like these guys. (Thank you Tumblr for the homo-erotica)

Our bodies never feel good after the Chalupa value meal at Taco Bell or the full-of-fake-ingredients microwaveable bowl of noodles, but somehow we think it’s okay to eat them anyway.

Are we really too busy to make healthy decisions? Do they really seem like the option at the time?

No. We lie to ourselves. You know it, and I know it.

So let’s stop. Let’s choose the fruit salad in the dining hall and let’s go for a five mile bike ride. Let’s eat well-balanced meals and drink fewer chemicals. Let’s do it. I’ll save half of my bag of Fritos for next time and I’ll recycle my can of Rockstar. I’ll organize my time so that I can study while I on the treadmill. I’ll be healthy.

I’ll be at the gym next semester–Maybe this summer, I’ll have a beach-ready bod!– Will you?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *