You, Sir, Are a Disney Prince

I’m baaack! After a nearly semester-long break from writing the Glee review, I can no longer resist. And what better episode to start back up with than Glee’s returning from a two-month hiatus?

Where we left off: Sue is pregnant via sperm donor; Quinn got siderailed by a truck while texting and driving; Rachel and Finn and crew were all set for a high school wedding, but called it off when Quinn got in her accident. If you need to, catch up here.

What I Loved.

  • Roz the swim coach is fast-talking and fearless and just the gal to out-sass Sue. So much so that Figgins wants her to be a co-coach for the Cheerios. Not one to go down without a fight, Sue promises him to get the Glee club a national championship win—and a $10,000 check for WMHS—if she can keep total control of the Cheerios, sans co-coach. He agrees, and Sue begins to balance pregnancy and leading the Glee club’s Booty Camp. Her antics are so cruel and demeaning—Sue’s usual way of getting things done—that Kurt sends an SOS note to Schuester. Too funny.

    Blaine's big bro comes to town. Photo:
  • Blaine introduces his hottie brother to Glee club. His attractive big brother and pseuo-celebrity, Cooper Anderson, is in town while his commercials are “on hiatus.” Cooper is the star of a popular credit score website’s commercials, in which he sings and dances and winks. I love when Glee cuts away to irrelevant and hilarious clips, such as Cooper’s commercial showboating. The mini plotline of the two brothers was pretty basic–big bro always puts little bro down, is never proud or supportive and overshadows him–but it was a nice diversion from the riDUNKulous Quinn’s return (see below). The flashback to Cooper criticizing youngster Blaine’s dancing was awesome. “But I just learned to walk three years ago!” little Blaine whines. Cooper’s ridiculous antics include holding special classes for the New Directions, in which he teaches them how to make it big in the TV commercial business.By the end, Cooper and Blaine reconnect…through song, of course…in an epic cover of Gotye’s “Someboday That I Used to Know.” 
  •  Finn stands up for himself, with a little help from Puck. Puck offers a future to his dim-witted friend: Move out to Cali with Puckie and help manage his sure-to-be-booming pool-cleaning service. Finn first says no, because his fiance Rachel is New York-bound. But after helping fix a jacuzzi motor for a client of Puck’s–and getting some hot cougar attention–Finn is interested in a California future. He tells Rachel, who of course whines like a baby that “our” future is in New York. Finn realizes all this “our future” talk has been one-sided until now. We’ll see where they all end up soon enough…

What I Didn’t Love.

Wheelies for life! Photo:
  • Quinn is alive and well…in a wheelchair, but with little visible damage. Texting queen Quinnie got slammed by a truck on the way to Rachel and Finn’s wedding last episode. The speeding truck hit her side of the car dead-on. If this was real life, or a show that actually believed in realistic plot lines, she would be dead, in a coma or the like. But no, the royal bitch returns in a cute spring outfit, face aglow as she wheels into school, twittering about God’s saving grace. I’m not saying Glee should be like Lost and kill off its characters for fun–but if a girl gets T-boned, she’s just NOT returning to school, chipper and ready to sing about it, within a few…weeks? months? days? We don’t even know how much time had passed since the wedding day accident. Sheesh.
  • The unbelievablility of Quinn coming out of that freak accident with just a damaged spinal cord was compounded by the cheesy song she sang with fellow wheeler Artie: “I’m still standing!” they croon. The “Oh, God, no” faces of their fellow Glee members were almost enough to save this scene.
  • Sue’s pregnancy is just a little too weird. She’s at the end of her first trimester, but now there’s something wrong with the amniotic fluid. It’s strange and off-putting to have Sue’s pregnancy trials a main plot point. Is Glee scrambling for ways to not jump the shark? A better route to take would’ve been Sue illegally adopting an African baby, like Sacha Baren Cohen did in his silly film, Bruno. Now that would have been hilariously classic Sue.

They Said It.

  • “Keeping bats out of your womb is important when having a baby and you’re older than God.” – Roz
  • “With yours brains and my jawline, we’d kill it.” – Puck
  • “Things are serious: A man in a dress is dead.” – Cooper
  • “Texting while walking…that’s exactly how I started.” – Quinn
  • “Alright, sloppy babies. Let’s take if from the top.” – Sue

Next Episode. Saturday Night Glee-ver. It’s disco time mixed with drama: Brit’s been sharing a sex tape of her and Santana with the whole school. Whoops!

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