OK, I’ll admit I’m taking a spin off (we’ll call it a response blog) from Mashable’s 10 Tips For Dating in the Social Media Age, but who wouldn’t enjoy a short list of dating tips for the gays? Who knows, you might even learn a thing or two. So without further adieu …
Ever think those repetitive pokes on Facebook are annoying, or the guy who continuously winks at you on OkCupid should have a swollen eye by now? Maybe your boyfriend “likes” everything you post and stalks your Foursquare and Twitter account to know exactly where you are and what you’re doing. Or hell, maybe you’re the one doing the cyber stalking. Either way, here’s a list of 5 tips I’ve compiled to make your social media experience still worth while when you’re talking to, dating or in a relationship with a guy who has the potential to see everything you update, tweet about and where you check-in.
1. Chill with the link sharing and liking, boys
If there’s one thing that annoys the crap out of me, it’s when I see two guys in a relationship blowing up each other’s Facebook wall with links to videos. “Babe, you’ll think this is so funny!” or “I laughed my ass off; I know you will too!” Then comes the beloved “like” on every single video and comment. Listen, save this stuff for the post sex cuddling.It will make your relationship better if the two of you can laugh about it together, in person. Plus, it will spark interesting conversation.
2. You don’t have to make it “Facebook official” just yet
I know Facebook basically rules our lives these days, and if we’re not friends with somebody on Facebook, then we probably don’t care much about their lives or what they’re doing. I’m not surprised then when I see guys making a huge deal about Facebook relationship statuses. BUT I see you boys busting in and out of a relationship status like it’s your job. First, that doesn’t help the already negative stereotype that gays can’t stay committed for a long period of time, and secondly, it shows you’re relationally unstable, and who wants to date you then? My advice is change the status after three weeks to a month. If it’s proving well after then, go for the status change.
3. Go read somebody else’s Twitter feed!
You love, love, love Twitter. It’s just so cool because you can be edgy and say whatever you’d like because your Mom isn’t following you, right? You can tweet at your favorite celebs, and they might even tweet you back! So why the incessant need to stalk your boyfriend’s Twitter feed? I know you’re already obsessed with him, so the redundant @(insertyourboyfriendstwitternamehere) on my Twitter feed just makes me want to gag. Try to find another Twitter feed you find interesting like Kathy Griffin, Bravo TV or GayBoyProblems, and use the time you would on your boyfriend’s page to check out other pages where you might actually learn something useful (or edgy for your next “girl’s night”).
4. He checked in WHERE?!
Oh girl, no he didn’t! Yes, yes he did. And unless he specifically told you he was going somewhere different, don’t freak out. No guy likes to feel like his boyfriend is clinging to him and needs to know his every move. If the two of you are taking an evening to yourself, and he checks in on Foursquare to a local restaurant or bar without inviting you along, he’s probably enjoying his social life for a change. Go do something with your friends, too! Planning a night or two out with your closest circle (Google+ addition, of course) is the best way to keep a healthy distance with your significant other.
5. Love at first Grind
I’ve only met a handful of gay guys my age and older who don’t have Grindr, the social networking app for gay men. It used to be a slutty hook up app, and while some still use it for such actions, a lot of guys are actually using it for dating and gaining gay friendships. We all know it’s not that easy in reality to do such things being gay, so don’t freak out when you see the guy you’re talking to logged in to Grindr. First, remember that’s probably where the two of you met to begin with, so he’s probably just conversing with other guys, too. You’re not committed, so it’s not a big deal. My advice is to have an open conversation about your Grindr use and set aside the judgment until you have a legitimate reason to judge … like if you’re actually committed.
Have your own thoughts about dating in the social media age? Start or join the conversation in the comments section!