Let me just start out by saying that this appropriately titled post gave flashbacks to Jay-Z’s Can I Get A….

As promised, I made my first ‘successful’ trip to Cleveland’s Bounce nightclub last Thursday. The night was off to a great start when we arrived and realized that we weren’t the only party animals in costume. There was the usual drag queen diva-off’in, gay men booty poppin’, lesbian lip-lockin plus 10 random straighties, 5 of which included my friends and I, all ready to dance the night away.

Oh and guess what?! I finally encountered a Whitney!  Don’t get too excited though because she scurried away after we danced to talk to an actual lesbian. Needless to say, I was unable to get her name or a picture before she vanished. Womp! Womp! I know, shame on me for not being more aggressive; but you have to understand, Whitneys are to me what kryptonite is to Superman.

Next time, I’m going to have to channel my lesbian alter ego, who I have yet to name. Please feel free to give me some suggestions because my lady friends and I will be shaking our groove thangs at Akron’s Interbelt nightclub in the not so distant future. I’ll be back next week with an update. In the meantime, check out some pics of my lady friends and I during our Bounce escapades.

5 Crazy Things That Went Down at Bounce:

1. Kelli Fitzpatrick got propositioned for a lesbian make out session, which she respectfully declined.

2. I fell off the stage in the center of the dance floor; Hannah Riedy tried to save me… and failed miserably.

3. There was nearly a gay man v. straight man smackdown; definitely think the gay guy would have dominated!

4. Infamous Bounce drag queen Kari Nickels had a nip slip, which she didn’t even bother trying to hide.

5. My girl Heaven Lee Burns (yes, that is her real name) ended up in a gay man sandwich that was an awesome threesome in the making.