Celibacy, Ladies. Dig It!

Gwyneth Paltrow is back, Santana is bi and Glee gets sexified.

Celibacy Club is back, and so is Holly Holiday (Gwyneth Paltrow) as Glee shifts from getting drunk to getting laid–or not.

Theme. It’s all about choices and sexuality. The Celibacy Club, headed by Emma, advocates keeping everything zipped up and locked away. Holly, substituting for the Health Education teacher, educates her students about options…and how to put a condom on a cucumber.

Celibacy Club is in session. Screenshot: Kelli Fitzpatrick

What I Loved.

  • Gwyneth rocks again. The actress brings a level of silly zinger lines–the Health Ed teacher is “out with a case of the herps!”–and a sense of laid-back fun. She embodies that personable, go-to teacher who can be so valuable in the throes of high school. She switches to a different school district by the end of the show, but I hope this isn’t the end of Holly’s reign.
  • Kurt finally gets a solo! In the Warblers’ cover of “Animal” by Neon Trees, Kurt holds his own against showboating Blaine. The performance was cool, especially with the bubble machine at the end, but I didn’t find it “scream worthy” as Blaine had hoped. However, the girls they sang for do–when a few try to give their numbers to Blaine, he just smiles and says “Sweet, but I’m not on your team.” Cue the sobbing females and breaking hearts.
  • Glee so wonderfully represents its gay characters, and has now incorporated bisexual characters as well. Santana lets down her mean-girl walls to confess she has feelings for Brittany. The two have enjoyed making out and cuddling–which isn’t cheating because “the plumbing is different”–but it’s more than just physical play. You know Glee is fabulous when it can actually make my heart to hurt for Santana, the ultimate bitch, as she discusses her feelings with Brittany. Santana is ready to dump Sam to be with Brit, but my fave dumb blonde loves and cares for Artie, and can’t commit to her galpal.

    Santana sings her heart out for Brittany. Screenshot: Kelli Fitzpatrick
  • Burt tries to uphold his Father of the Year title by opening up to Kurt. The loving dad gets pamphlets about sex so Kurt can be educated and not terrified. But Burt doesn’t get it all right–he tells Kurt that two gay guys having sex means both sides only want casual, noncommittal sex, which will lead to heartbreak. I’ll give you an A for effort, Burt.


What I Didn’t Love.

  • Quinn’s new wardrobe. Now that she’s emitting a good-girl facade, Quinn has started wearing outfits that came straight out of Little House on the Prairie. Hideous boots, ankle socks and cowgirl-esque gear. Where are the cute sundresses of yesteryear, Q?
  • Glee is doing great on addressing the whole sex issue, but it’s not doing perfect. The characters are either terrified/grossed out about sex and therefore celibate, or oversexed and promiscuous. There has got to be a middle ground somewhere.
  • Quinn and Finn. Together. Again. The episode ends with the two cuddling on her bed and I’m assuming they have just done the deed. Whether Quinn’s intentions are to rebuild the relationship, have a good time or just score the title of Prom Queen is still unclear. Regardless, I’m sick of her messing with poor, stupid Finn. He and Rachel are so meant to be!
Gwyneth Paltrow amps up the sex appeal. Screenshot: Kelli Fitzpatrick

Top Character Quotes.

  • “Wait. Cucumbers can give you AIDs?” – Finn
  • “Speaking of STDs, how is your dating life?” – Holly
  • “Those weren’t weird faces. Those were my sexy faces.” – Kurt
  • “It’s not about who you’re attracted to; ultimately, it’s about who you fall in love with.” – Holly (This would have been the blog title if it were shorter!)
  • “We cuddle too much. We’re cuddle monsters!” – Carl
  • “Next to taking my afternoon deuces, it’s my favorite part of the day.” – Puck

Next Week. For the first time, the Gleeks are preforming original songs. I can’t wait to pick up that CD!

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