You can’t fully love another person until you’ve learned to love yourself, right?

I’m sure you’ve heard this cliche used countless times, mostly from your pestering mother who is determined to train you to be an efficient husband or wife. Or maybe from your psychotic ex who never really understood you– see, I’m on your side.

The gorgeous Dave Franco (the apple doesn’t fall from … the other apple?) is seen in this hilarious Funny or Die video that showcases just how far one might go in loving himself. Not only does it elicit fantasies for those of us who have a more elaborate imagination, but maybe it’ll teach some of us to be more specific when we tell our boyfriend or girlfriend to go f*ck yourself. With a statement like that, you never know what someone is capable of doing.

Either way, Franco shows us some pretty slick (and extremely sweaty) tricks to effectively master f*cking yourself while simply obeying your significant other’s request. Don’t drool too much, boys and girls.