Being a 20-year-old living in a world where the president wants my partner and me to be dead is scary, but by talking to people within the community of many ages, I was able to see how hard things were for them when they came out, but they never let it stop them from being themselves. That is the message I want you to take home today, to never give up, even when it’s really hard.
For me, hearing the stories of queer people of all different ages has always given me hope for the future. Whether younger, the same age, or older than me, I have always loved seeing how queerness differs. I was 16 years old when I first realized I was queer, and now at almost 21, I realize I have learned so much in these past five years. Being queer has brought me closer to myself and has opened up so many doors for me, and it’s the case for others, too.
Mandy Guinan, a junior at Auburn Career Center, shares his experiences as a 17-year-old transgender man: “Luckily I have a really supportive family so it wasn’t anything special, I really just told my brother, parents and my girlfriend. No one was surprised because they all saw it coming,” Guinan shared.
Guinan was fortunate enough to have a family who was loving and understanding that he was trans and wanted to start HRT when he turns 18. I think that this generation has been so grateful for the amount of love that they receive when they come out as who they have always been.
“I would tell my younger self to just be true and don’t worry about fitting into a picture somebody else painted of you just be yourself and be your best self,” Guinan expressed.
This is such an important piece to mention when talking about queerness: we have always known. There has not been one queer person I have spoken to that has said that they were forced to be gay or that because they watched a gay couple on TV they are now gay. Being gay is not a choice and it never will be.
Stella Connelly, senior BFA Acting major at Ithaca College, shares their feelings on being queer at 21 years old. “I have definitely always been queer –when I was five I asked if I was allowed to marry my girl best friend or if my future spouse would have to be a boy– but I didn’t realize it formally until I was in seventh grade,” Connelly shared.
Coming out for the first time? Connelly says: “Get involved! Find your community! Go to drag nights, read queer historical literature, immerse yourself in our culture and our history. It is so important to know our collective past so we can tap into that resilience and joy going forward.”
When first coming out, finding people who make you feel like the best and most authentic version of yourself is the best thing to do. The whole point of being in a community is to find your people.
Workers’ Compensation Hearing Representative, Rene Bartosik, shares her side of the story as a 58-year-old queer person. “I have been with my partner for over 25 years, and we are finally selling our houses to buy one. I was in college when I finally accepted the fact that I liked girls,” Bartosik expressed.
College is a transformative time of everyone’s life, especially queer persons, I know this to be true for myself that I finally found myself when I started at Kent State.
Bartosik continues with how her parents and friends reacted when she came out. “My mother actually found a letter my then-girlfriend wrote to me, and she was not pleased. She told me that she would “rather me be a whore” than be gay, and that hurt. So I left and didn’t tell them where I was going with their car,” Bartosik explained.
This is obviously not the case for many people in this generation now because a lot people grew up with parents like Bartosik did, and they did not want to inflict that same hurt and resentment on their kids. I feel very fortunate and grateful for the love and support my parents and friends gave me.