It’s Like Finding Your Mom’s Condom Stash

Twitter account OfficialGay is one of my favorite gay-themed twitter accounts to follow. It’s witty, makes me giggle, and most importantly, it shares tweets like these that make it sincere.

You know what? I changed my mind. I think the most important element is that it makes gays giggle.

In any case, this tweet inspired my post this week because I read it and thought, this tweet is not only too gay to function, but it’s one of those relevant love is so gay situations that all of us—gay or straight—can relate with.

I started thinking, though, and I realized that we’re deathly hypocritical creatures.

Gay gasp!

Don’t gasp for me, Argentina.

Think about it; we’re incredibly willing to pay attention to the guy who’s making us happy for whatever selfish reason we’ve justified this week, and we get angry or jealous when this guy stops returning our phone calls, sending flirtatious text messages, or becomes “too busy” to hang out. But when we’re shoved to the other side and start receiving more and more attention from a guy who we deem unworthy for whatever reason, we’re suddenly the one who’s too busy and relentlessly trying to ditch him. Sound familiar? I thought it might.

So naturally I wanted to get the deeper scoop from OfficialGay’s creator Joe Suffron.

Joe: “Well, that tweet was about a nice guy I met last week. The first time we hung out, I blacked out and ended up passing out on his bed while he slept on a futon.”

Me: “Sounds like a nice guy!”

Joe: “In the morning, he was nice. He made me Crepes … an awesome guy so I tried giving him a chance.

Joe Suffron

The next night I went over to his place and as soon as we started making out I realized he was an awkward kisser, and that I wasn’t even remotely attracted to him. So even though we weren’t married, I had to pull the ‘I’m tired’ card and fell asleep before anything could happen.”

He continued…

Joe: “Since then, he’s been really affectionate sending texts like ‘my pillow still smells like you’ or after I told him I didn’t feel well, he offered to make me soup. It’s really uncomfortable to like someone as a person, but have to break it to them that there isn’t a chance that dating might occur.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, so I decided to pry a little deeper.

Me: “Sounds like you made a full dating circle in 2 days … do you think you’re being too critical?”

Joe: “No. I know that I need physical connection in a relationship. I just hope I can handle the situation respectfully and maybe end up friends after…”

Me: “Do you usually end up friends with this type of guy afterward?”

Joe: “The only other time I’ve had to, it was long distance … we still talk, but I wouldn’t call it a good friendship. It’s that awkward ‘breaking up with someone you’re not even dating’ thing. I’ve had the pleasure of being on the other side a couple of times.”

“It’s that awkward breaking up with someone you’re not even dating thing”

I can’t help but wonder why so many of us can relate with that feeling. I read that and think, holy mother of Ala I know exactly what you’re talking about! We’re breaking up with guys before we even date them.

The conversation continues …

Me: “Tell me about the other side.

Joe: “Both times it was an undeniable physical connection with the guy, but baggage from his previous boyfriend prevented anything from happening between us. He was nice about things and we tried being friends, but it became awkward going out with him and his other rebound,” whom Joe shamelessly admits he made out with in the bathroom.

Joe: “The other guy was also dealing with baggage. His solution was to just ignore me out of the blue, which made me feel like shit because I wasn’t being treated like a human being.”

Me: “I hate that guys do that so much. It’s like our best coping mechanism with someone we just simply don’t feel connected to anymore.”

Joe finished by saying, “The one thing I pride myself on is not straying away from the uncomfortable situations. I’ll be honest with people rather than avoiding them entirely.”

Find Joe on Twitter @OfficialGay.

Until next time …

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