My girl's got a bigass heart

New Directions head for Regionals.

Theme. It’s Regionals time in Gleek world, and the drama is in no short supply as Quinn throws some emotional punches, Sue throws a real one and Kurt and Blaine finally get together. Glee clubs from around the state sing their hearts out at the competition, but the New Directions and their original songs take home the trophy!

The New Directions are heading to Nationals! Screenshot by Kelli FItzpatrick



What I Loved.

  • Members of the New Directions try their hand at songwriting, and some interesting lyrics come about. Santana’s “Trouty Mouth” is an ode to Sam, full of snide remarks about his “guppy face,” in which she wants to put a fish hook. Reeling from last episode’s heartbreak, Santana uses the song to let out some frustration, but it’s at Sam’s expense. Puck’s “rock-a-billy” love song to Lauren depicts her “big ass heart” that’s weighing her down but that he loves. Mercedes’ “Hell to the No” anthem is by far the best song of this bunch–she croons, “They want me to change my weave, but I got something else up my sleeve!”
  • Kurt’s canary bird’s life of luxury comes to an end. The little birdie who enjoyed a Burberry cage cover passes away from what Kurt thinks was a stroke. In his on-point style, Kurt dresses in all black, complete with tall jackboots, chains and a tiny skull pin. Only Kurt could wear this outfit and not come off as uber-goth.
  • As aforementioned: “Blurt” is now official!! Blaine finally makes a move by proposing to turn his Regionals solo into a duet with Kurt. When the two meet to begin practicing their song–“Candles” by Hey Monday, a catchy, alternative band–Blaine plants a kiss on Kurt, and I could feel my heart beginning to melt. The scene is cute, heartfelt and also exciting–I was squealing at my computer screen as is played out. After Regionals, Kurt is burned by the Warblers’ loss but Blaine shakes it off and says, “We got each other out of it. Which is better than some stupid trophy.” Love!

    Blaine offers love and support for Kurt as they bury his bird. Screenshot by Kelli Fitzpatrick
  • The New Directions’ song lineup for Regionals is a hit. Rachel’s solo song was strong and fierce, as was the showstopping “Loser Like Me,” inspired by Sue’s bully antics.
  • This year’s Regional judges: Rod Remington the anchorman, always a favorite, Tammy Jean Alberton, a former Tea Party candidate played by Kathie Lee Griffin in an alter-ego role, and Sister Mary Constance, a nun and former stripper. Hilarious stuff.

What I Didn’t Love.

  • I’ve talked about her enough, so I’ll keep this short: I wonder how many times Quinn has watched Mean Girls, because she is very much becoming one. Besides using Finn to nab the Prom Queen title, she verbally slashes Rachel down until she cries. Karma will serve you soon, Q.
  • Sue knocks out the announcer at Regionals, for no apparent reason other than her glee club lost and she’s angry. Wait–what? I hope the show sticks to some sore of reality and Sue gets charges pressed against her.
Kathie Lee Griffin plays her polar opposite: a conservative, Sarah Palin-esque homophobe. Screenshot by Kelli Fitzpatrick



Top Character Quotes.

  • “Damn you, Dads. Why did you only settle for me?” – Rachel in an original song
  • “I didn’t even like being pandered to when I was a stripper.” – Sister Mary Constance
  • “I didn’t go around singing about being a loser. I twittered that Obama is a terrorist.” – Tammy Jean Alberton



Next Episode. My sources say there isn’t a new Glee episode until…April 12. Say it ain’t so!

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