The changing of the seasons can be especially hard, especially when you live in a weather bi-polar state such as Ohio. So I have prepared a special guide to help you on your journey to successful fashion mastery of Ohio weather.
You may not have known this before, but Ohio has five different seasons. Yes, five.
5. and my personal favorite, “Dude, wtf is going on”
I understand that spring is often advertised and thought of as a very pretty season. You know, “April showers bring May flowers” and stuff like that, but in Ohio not so much. I mean, yes we get rain, but only after we get hail/sleet/snow on top of it. Not to mention the mud to grass ratio is 2:1. Ohio spring weather will ruin your cutest pair of shoes if you let it, so always be weary.
The only good thing about summer is that it is the only season guaranteed to be completely snow free. But during the day it is so blistering hot that just thinking about going outside automatically puts you at risk for sun poisoning. And then at night it either cools down nicely or turns into Antarctica. The only thing I can suggest is to keep lots of layers around/on you at all times. Or invest in a pool, because then summer will actually mean something to you.
Fall weather in Ohio (for the most part) is all kinds of awesome. Not too hot, not too cold, and ultimately gives you plenty of incentive to drink hot coffee ALL THE TIME. No wonder it’s my favorite season. It does get kind of chilly sometimes, so I suggest lots of snuggly clothes and warm scarves (Harry Potter swag).
Winter weather in Ohio is ridiculously and unecesserily cold. Even penguins and polar bears would need parkas to survive in Ohio during the winter. It is also ridiculously icy. I would almost suggest foregoing shoes all together and just investing in a nice pair of ice skates to get you around. Also, spontaneously, for no reason, in the middle of the season, the temperature is going to miraculously go up to thirty degrees. This is going to feel like ninety to you and you are going to be extremely tempted to start wearing flip flops and t-shirts. But DON’T DO IT, because within three days Ohio will be right back to its arctic tendencies, and at the end of the day, no matter how warm it feels outside, anyone wearing shorts in December will always look like an idiot.
“Dude, wtf is going on”
This is when any of the original four seasons can instantly change their mind and take on characteristics of another season, or even multiple seasons. There really is no good way to prepare for this phenomenon. All you can do is prepare like you would for the apocalypse and hope things turn out for the best.
Hopefully this has helped you navigate your way through the ups and downs of Ohio’s seasons, and will help lead you to smart and successful weather friendly fashion trends. Before I go though, since we are talking about seasons here. Friends, it is officially Pumpkin Spice Season at Starbucks and on that note I only have one thing to say…
Apple Spice Latte > Pumpkin Spice Latte
Glad I finally got that off my chest. Now hopefully I don’t get chased across campus by a mob of angry, Pumpkin Spice loving hipsters. I mean, I’m just being honest after all.