The Stage Five Clinger

The dreaded clinger. How to hold onto your guy without suffocating him.
Image courtesy of Shiskababe (DeviantArt)

Riddle me this – what comes to mind when I say the word ‘stage five clinger’? A 13-year-old girl who’s afraid to let her boyfriend of two weeks walk another girl to class? The girl at her sweet sixteen birthday party that follows her crush around all night and won’t leave him alone?

That’s what SHOULD come to mind. Unfortunately, clingyness is the #1 straight girl problem of all ages. It doesn’t matter if you’re preteen, college age, or older – all girls have their moments and for some reason, girls can’t let the clingy habits go. We have this subconscious need and desire to adhere ourselves to the man we’re interested in and hang on for dear life as if we’re on the edge of a cliff that’s starting to slowly crumble below our feet.

Clinging is often one of the main reasons relationships fail, or “flings” don’t become anything serious. Boys hate being smothered, and they don’t like being asked questions. And what do girls do? Cling and ask way too many questions. Examples: “What are you doing tonight?”, “who are you texting?”, “Who’s that girl I saw you with yesterday at the Student Center?” “How do you know her?” and the list goes on and on.

So I compiled a small list of things we as females should do when the urge to cling swarms us.

Put the Cellphone Away

1. Put Away the Cellphone
Girls who text their guy or wanna-be guy 24/7 are not cute. Eight times out of ten, he doesn’t want to have pointless chatter over texts and know the deets about your dinner date with your bff while he’s trying to do his own thing and hang out with friends. Let him have his night, and catch up with him in the morning 🙂

2. The Party PDA
So you’re at a party with your guy or fling of the moment. You don’t really know anyone and you’re kinda nervous which is completely understandable – but don’t cling! My least favorite thing in the entire world is when you’re out and you look over to the corner and “that” couple is sitting there talking to each other and not interacting with the group. Hanging onto his arm and following him into the kitchen when he’s trying to get a beer is honestly slightly pathetic looking. Girls who do that look like sad lost puppy dogs following their master around. Be friendly and outgoing instead! Strike up a conversation with his friends – talk about classes or sports. Having confidence that you don’t need to be glued to the hip with your guy shows him and his friends you have confidence and you can stand on your own two feet.

3. It’s Called a GUYS Night for a Reason
Monday night football and beer with the guys. Why would you even WANT to come? I know it’s exciting to get to know your boyfriends friends, and you want to be included. But some nights just AREN’T for girls. They want to hang out with each other, get wasted and fistbump while watching pro sports. It’s some kind of weird male bonding thing that they enjoy. Our presence truly ruins it. So don’t be jealous when he has a guys night! Youll have your date night eventually J

Being clingy is a problem we all have at some time or another. I, myself, have fallen victim as well. No one is perfect! But next time when you think you’re about to engage in the act of clinging – think twice and think about my tips!


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