Things Gay Men Like #11: “Straight Acting”

For some reason gay men absolutely love lusting after straight men, despite straight boys being detrimental to our health. It’s sort of like smoking cigarettes, or drinking colorful cocktails. Though we know these things are bad for us we keep coming back for more. Our attraction towards straight men is similar. I know many a gay man who has been hurt by lusting after a straight boy. Still, there’s something sexy about the forbidden fruit aspect of it. We can’t have them, which makes them hotter. For this reason, gay men idolize the idea of having sex with a straight guy.

This results, of course, in masculinity being idolized as sexier than femininity. We’ve all seen the type. He plays sports, watches football on the television, doesn’t care about carbs… everything about him screams average guy next door who just happens to suck dick. But there’s one line in his OkCupid profile that sticks out. You see it because he made sure it was in bold.

This is straight-acting, right? Yellow's gender-neutral.

“Straight Acting”.

If there is one term in all of gaydom that pisses me off to no end it’s “Straight-Acting”.

I’ve got news for y’all faggots; I don’t care how fucking masculine you are. You can watch football, go to tailgating parties, eat hotdogs, wear jerseys, drive a pickup truck, and consume the watered down piss you call Bud Light, but if when you get done with all of that you go home and fuck another man, YOU ARE NOT ACTING STRAIGHT.

I’d be willing to call you straight-acting if you were sticking your penis into a woman’s vagina on the regular, but since that’s probably not the case you can sit down and twiddle your thumbs up your ass as you come to terms with the fact that the phrase you’ve based your dating life on is one big, fat misnomer.

Now get back to drinking your shitty beer, faggot.

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